It is the little matter of lying about the past that makes it untennable. Hello Stephan, thank you for answering me. Plenty of respectable women do not live their youths as sluts, and it is THESE women who deserve our time, investment, and energies; not the sluts. is NOT okay to act as if it doesnt count because it was in your past. It Matters Somewhat But S*** Everybody Then Dated A Freeak Or Hoe Or B**** & Probably Seen Them In The Mall All Hugged Up Like Damn I Use Holla At That.We Grown Now Sometimes People Change.!!! So what if she runs across someone she slept with in the past? Remember every saint was once a sinner down and every sinner can become a saint and stand tall. I sure don't. I choose not to do that because that is not what this discussion should be about. I run into more issues with the fact that some women have literally had over 15 boyfriends, and have slept with them all, multiple times even. You look down on my age group, and yet the concept of girls sleeping around . And realize having sex with a lot of people has its consequence you cant always have your cake and eat it too so **** smart and **** protected. 1. Its refreshing. Who has the power there ??? I hate to have to point out common sense to you, but obviously. Humans have emotions. You stated How you view intimacy, and love, and sex matters. well what holds more weight, their current view or their past views? Come back and continue to live. Look into the galena rhoades study. You can't have it both ways. LoL! Dont hold a value for the women youre looking for that you dont practice yourself. I suggest maybe going to a counselor or therapist that can help you both get through this. This is life. So when they say save yourself for the right one remember the word ONE u can say girl see whats out there see what u like live life but remember u are not only keeping apart of that person u sleep with in you, you are also exposing that person to your future kids and shaming your future spouses bloodline stop trying to justify being a hoe. The woman I started dating after college was the complete opposite. a lot of double standards as usual in todays society yes maybe people are a bit too free or promiscuous but a number shouldnt affect you or eat you up inside and if it does could mean you missing out on a, sex and b, someone special. There are enough people in the world for those to attain who they desire as they judge and chooseand more than anything it is the persons actions that will speak louder so there will be no room to judge for anything past or present! I think a long period of live-in followed by a late marriage (girl around 32) would be effective insurance against separation in the future. In addition, it is this same attitude that gets these alpha men in trouble because they end up holding women to a pedestal that she could never maintain nor would any self respecting woman try to. How is she wrong for engaging in adult like activity with another consenting adult? You dont think there are alpha women out there? All in all I think monogamy is a cruel joke. your mobile device and email, or tell them your whereabouts if their worried. Yet a man can have sex with 50 women and ejaculate in all of them and expect at least 50 lives in a year and knows damn well hes the father backed by 50 women also saying so! Granted there are some women who embrace being free to do as they please sexually, and then there are some that get caught up for various reasons. I will say that we all are entitled to our own opinions, but when those opinions are based in judgment and primitive prehistoric double standards, that makes your opinion INVALID. In other words quit pointing fingers at others when you know full-well that you are just as much a sinner! By your logic, nothing matters, and we should all turn our brains off. I deserve better, and so would my children. And, if we try to claim that we haven't ..then, guess what? I see a lot of people replying to this kinda rudely, which I understand. If a woman has been with one man, but is still carrying baggage from that situation. Yep happened to when I was with hera familiar face from the Atlantic to the Pacific. Here is my conclusion i guess. someone who is empathetic to your feelings and how their past affects you. OK maybe not free you might need to tell her its OK were all equal ect ect so some effort is involved to get sex. She can probably just walk up to a man and say Wanna fuck me? and the first man she approaches will say yes (or at least one in the first three men). I apologize if it seems I am implying that women who enjoy and have had many sex partners are simply victims of abuse. So lets say you meet a woman and start to date her. Those who feel the need to take this approach typically have some deeper issues they are not properly addressing. Thank you, Lord, for what you have done that we couldnt do for ourselves. someone, you want to not only know about who they are, but who they Well life just got a whole lot better for you, because you've found what we all look . I am already spoken for. Dirty Runs girl that you can pay 500 to sleep with turns out to be a millionaire today. Just settle because the other person isnt perfect. EXACTLY and guess what: YOU ARE BEING JUDGED for having the wrong amount! (tongue in cheek). I was like this guy is a genius, supporting whorish ways but I understand you completely. least. Run. Before she told you the number and after she told you the number she is still the same woman you fell in love with. But it seems like you want to get over those beliefs, because you recognize there is something wrong with them. Sleeping around might be related to testosterone in both sexes. One should not strive to be perfect. And I suppose that a man or woman states it was only sex can be trusted not to sleep around since its only sex and not all men are like that its just an excuse to get laid. About how each time she sleeps I dont see how this article will have women single and lonely. So know this, men will have their values, its just sad u will bypassed becos of it. My body doesn't want anyone else when I love someone. This article is not about telling woman to do as they please or to promote promiscuity. Hi Stephan. I definitely CAN Google which is how I know that you were harassing anyone who posted on this article as well: https://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2011/10/what_s_your_number_do_women_still_fret_about_the_number_of_peopl.html, solidifying my assertion that you have psychological issues for which you should probably seek counselling. 8 Best Landing Page Builders This Year. Dude, consider this: she's got the experience to know what she wants and what she doesn't want. This is just Like having a Second hand CAR on whom so many Drivers have been used that Car. Supportive. We can do better. , I am asking you to state your sources. I am with you 100% on everything you said I am just wondering because I like your input you said everything for me! New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. If I decide to marry, it will be a woman with confidence, character, and class, and not a slut. She informed methat she had sex with over 30 men. Men still have choices, and for men with self-esteem and standards, marrying a slut is not an option. As for the sinful lifestyle, if that person is no longer living that life (or even if they are) then is not judging them still wrong? throw it in their face. Or whether you have 3 kids by 3 different women. A Woman or Man that sleeps with 100 people is emotionally DEAD! Hey knows how I am but still wants a relationship with me. Perhaps you should take your own advice. Everyone thinks they want to sleep with pure uncorrupted virgins or whatever, but I honestly think the only reason anyone wants to sleep with a virgin, or is opposed to sleeping with someone with more experience, all comes down to insecurity. Every man has to question how many men she slept with and isolate her and own her so she wont sleep around. It is logical they would have to go thru a selection. There are numerous other examples too. Those refusing to acknowledge a persons sexual past are really the ones insecure about it, not those who ask. The point of this post is that I'm absolutely terrified of getting into a relationship with a slut (don't mean to be harsh but that is just what she is) despite liking this girl a lot. Second, women are heavily criticized for having a lot of partners because they the ones making the final decision. Modern women are told a lot of strange things, like sex doesn't matter and that men are somewhat entitled to fuck them. Better yet, have u ever been judged or discriminated otherwise? All the sudden, I stopped wanting to sleep around and it was no longer enjoyable. 1) difference between studs and hoes. Its choices, not mistakes. She says she knew what she was doing but to me it seems like she was being used, and that hurts. The fact that there is a message board This is why the whole idea of using her number of past partners as criteria is unnecessary. Where do your moral codes and values rate when it comes to men having a promiscuous lifestyle? Yoomy situation is differentthis girl actually wants me to wants on her till shes done having fun (sleeping around) too settle down with me..i thing thats disgustingand its not worth it. He is allowed to his opinions and values as much as u are allowed to your body It shapes us. I firmly believe that the more people that you date, the harder that it will be to find love. Since the discord opened I've talked to a fair few men who are either on this sub or want to talk about this shit one on one. If you love sex so much, u can have it with the man you believe will stay with u and you have something serious with, something that will not spoil your name.. Its a bit embarassing.. 3) Psychological and Emotional problems (Most of the time promiscuous people are wildly insecure about themselves and or bad judges of character) Actually the fact that she has been with a few guys before settling down makes me feel special to be the chosen one. It matters. Required fields are marked *. It's four times the number of people that would be acceptable in order for you to expect virginity from anyone else. She just revealed something from her past and instead of embracing who she is today you are making a choice to hold it over her head and view her as the woman she once was. To bring you back to reality, realize that every man has both sides to this coin. I understand where you are coming from but we do not agree on this topic. I practice EFT (emotional freedom technique) to get rid of emotional baggages which i guess he couldn understand. Some men may think that if the subjective number is more than (x) amount she is automatically out of the future picture because he may see in his mind this woman going out all the time getting laid by men she doesnt know and being the typical party girl. Just saying that people have been held accountable for their past since the beginning of time. Press J to jump to the feed. Is she a hoe or as you said on a hoe stroll? Embrace who she is today and enjoy it. However, a guy can be just as much of a slut as a gal. She obviously had not displayed any of the 5 issues you laid out (at least she hasnt shown it one bit). Nothing too crazy, but I live in a college town where people are coming and going for school and work and thus I've had fairly intense relatonships with people who have since relocated out of necessity. In todays age just go to pub or bar and buy the drinks for the women and they can have sex with any unknown person ( what does that mean Slut right). intimacy enough. open your mind to what the article is trying to say and you may start to look at things differently. Womens happiness within committed relationships also goes down as her partner count increases. Thats a load of crap! Its become a trend now for premarital sex to happen but some girls don't approve it. Speaking of lazy, I have looked over the study which you were apparently too lazy to just hyperlink to yourself after being asked to twice https://www.jstor.org/discover/10.2307/3600089?uid=3739448&uid=2&uid=3737720&uid=4&sid=21102211994521 and the man is ESTIMATING his own word that the chances of marital dissolution go up for any woman who was not a virgin prior to marrying or cohabitating with her partner. Im very flattered, but not creeped out enough yet to worry about it. All they ever wanted was one person they could be comfortable around and have compatible morals with, and not wanting casual sex is generally due to those morals. Women should in my opinion do kegel I understand a lot of what you have said and certain points are valid. There is so much more to point too that have a greater impact on a failing marriage. was a bad (abusive) relationship. Again, you say the past shouldnt matter. A guy friend of mine had to dump his first girlfriend in college because she kept pushing to get married and to settle down. I am one who believes people can evolve and they can change. I understand why you would hold the position that you hold since you arent aware of the actual science behind my statement. Its more likely that my comments are going to garner negativity but I think its good to have a healthy view on such things. Thank you for your input. Then I sincerely hope that you school these same alpha men to not share their masculinity so freely with any slut that crosses their path and opens their legs. If you find someone youre into, thats all that matters. They want a woman, someone different than they are. Wear and tear is evident on me too, example what if they give a woman an STDs that wear and tear hun. Hell, slavery once was a part of our past and I think most would agree that they dont want to see that practice emerge again. You really want to marry miss double penetration? Its like buying a car with 1,000,000 miles on the odometer lol!!! If you feel that this is the case, maybe consider whether it is fair for her to have you in her life. Agrees. would you not prefer to be judged on who you are as a man today, or should any perceived mistakes you made in the past always be held over your head? Never trust someone who doesnt change within those 10 years. I have a past love interest who you can say is the one I regret letting go in my life the most. This is only my input on the subject as I have been tackling this topic for weeks now and I am open to everybody's opinion. Same as with a baby if you work out i have had a partner or two after my bad divorce and after having children and still get asked if I had children because I am right ..I personally think it depends on how the person is made idk..what do I know though .. Its not about the tightness of your vagina DNA from every partner u take stays inside of you. The emotional component I can build well in a live- in arrangement, before we finally settle down. If she is what you need her to be, but then you find out she had X amount of partners, well that shouldnt override who she currently is. So his sexual experience would be plus for him.but a lot of men, theyll have sex with a woman whos been Around the blockbut most will be hesitant to Wife her. before automatically being a jerk and walking away. There is a strong feeling of anti-social Women call men dogs when they have slept with numerous women so why would you in turn do the same thing that youre condemning them for? I believe the average male has a high sex drive, created to be the leader/pursuer.. How many partners youve had should definitely speak for your character. Men are not biologically and genetically programmed to want to share their women. I am just as human as the next person and want to be treated as such. I sometimes dream about it, feel sad etc. God created us all to make mistakes and learn from those mistakes to become better people. Those who belittle this concern are just those who have a sketchy past and don't like being possibly judged for it. Tell me, what's the ideal number of people for your partner to have slept with before you? Love isnt about the pussy or how big the dick is. Because right now it sounds a lot like, Its true because I say it is. Men should be held to the same standard as women when it comes down to numbers of sexual partners and until society enforces that men will continue to mess around because its ok for men because their held to a lower standard than women. Some, such as yourself possibly, dont have the save freedoms. I believe this because I have been with someone that had many many partners. Or would you rather have a car thats bee driven by a lot of different people. Whether saying that a woman should have a low number of partners is out of sync with reality or not is irrelevant. If this sub of all places tells me it's a bad idea I still might go through with it anyway even if at that point it should be 100% decided that it's a bad idea. It was about not wanting to be holding hands or walking down the street with a female and having dudes walking by that shes slept with or the possibility of them making any comments butwhat dude can say theyve only been with a handful of women. The past does matter, because granted imagine sleeping with the man or woman, exchanging fluids. Sex isnt an act that comes with an inherent morality- the ethical implications of sex all depend on the context. Oh, and learn how to use Google. Thanks for your input man I appreciate it, ErmdudeI don't think you are in the best place to be with anyone right now tbh. No one wants to date or marry a hoe. You make a very good arguement and I like how you articulated it. Im also comfortable with myself and my happiness is not determined by whether or not I have a partner. And if you married in your 30's so much for having a family. I am faced with a decision as to whether or not stay with my current girlfriend, because in all honesty I only wish to be her friend after finding out her past. Cheers mate and thanks for reading. It Well said. Alpha men who are looking for long-term partners are free to choose whomever they want, and they have the choices available to do so. Please subscribe to our newsletter to get the latest news in your domain of interest. To me there was no perfect guy except for in fairy tales and even then some of the princes had problems. Yall need to start doing some research and stop sleeping around. Because they are unable to control their own desires, delayed gratification is a component of intelligence and success. It is perfectly fair to judge someone based on the choices they make. We need to take a better approach and that is all I am truly trying to convey. People shouldnt be so quick to judge others. Sex isnt just for men. I dont know, it just seems you have left a lot of factors out. Being old-fashioned is not an excuse. Wouldnt you want If you refuse to give a woman a chance because of her past, you might be missing out on a really good woman. Do boys and men get self conscious taking their shirts off in front of girls? Why? On the surface all may look well, but when you go deeper many women will acknowledge they were never truly in love or connected with their mate. You're a victim of western purity culture, where a woman's value is measured by how few men she'e slept with. I know plently of them. Master Age: 48 , mho 32%. To those guys dating a girl that has been around you know your boys are all laughing at you behind your back. lover constantly complains that you nag them, try and find ways to fix this We should strive to be righteous. But you are as a person. We cannot allow people to think "I can do whatever I want because people can't judge me anyway" because that promotes this view of doing and thinking wild things simply because you can get away with it. In my opinion once again Women should be winning, but because they are willing to accept this garbage and keep giving it up, Women are losing. Oh, you gave all your goods outwhen I didnt but I should be accepting of that? Which is funny because The more rare a commodity is the more valuable it becomes. I hope your relationship benefits greatly from it. Don't throw something good away without really trying to make . Youre doing the right thing, love beats all just think how you would feel looking back at now when youre on your death bed about to pass onto the other realm. 1. During one of those sex talks, it was revealed that she had been with TWO GUYS at one time for a total of three encounters (about a month before we met). Level-Headed. 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