So at 530 pm last night (Friday) he messaged me back. It just seems to happen to me every time. I guess Ill never know why. Me Things were great even talking about moving in together after i return from a 2weeks vacation just this month. I dont understand why they would leave it open like this. So yo completely do a Houdini AND change number was extremely alarming and has left me totally feeling like Ive been punched. BIG MISTAKE!!!!!!!!!!! Those are concrete things she can work on. After this incident things between us were never the same. Now in this case I have not faded out completely, but I have lost interest in her, and since I dont know any of you Im going to be TOTALLY honest lol. I am a well educated woman with a great career. Insecure. Im going through a similar situation and as much as it sucks you have to move on. Its way too obvious that hes ghosting you on purpose and you want to get answers. I later tried to call him and it went right to voicemail so Im pretty sure he blocked my number right after my text response went to him. We agreed to be a friends with benefits type thing which I was way ok with. Heres whats wrong with the picture. Im not fond of my birthday, nor am I a normal woman who fawns over all children & babies, so I would never have done either of those things without him starting themwhich he did. You see, I am very sapiosexual and love to have a banter with like minds and since we both worked in similar demanding professional fields, I felt like he was the proverbial One. With time, Ill meet a great guy and be thankful it didnt work out with this Houdini. My response was..- work harder, you hurt my feelings but I moved on and please leave my belongings at my door. I guess I needed that at that time. It's like I don't exist. I think because the emotions and the things you both said to each other than do not mean nothing to him and he was playing you. my theory is that creating friendships first is ALWAYS the way to go- you build trust you explore mutual interests, and if there is attraction it can get steamy romantic and it happens to be someone you actually like. And I wont. There was never really a boyfriend/ girlfriend type relationship from what I read. Youre likely to see yourself as less than you are, putting him on a pedestal, and over-romanticizing his figure. He replied and asked me how was I doing. Now thats not confusing at all *sarcasm*. I feel so depressed and so angry with myself for loving him back i feel like i deserved more. Because it is SPOT on. for the next few months he wrote me from time to time and i kept hoping that he must still fell for me but i only felt worse, uncertain, guilty for i dont know what and wasnt able to move on. I dont think that anyone should play games with peoples feelings. I have spent this time dealing with my neediness issues.Thanks. Can I ask him to start over? He then said I had him on a pedestal and he didnt feel he deserved it and had we been further into the relationship he wouldnt be so scared of it but being its so new his guard is now up. One of them talked to me for hours and then disappeared only to contact me back like 2 months later by asking me if I wanted to go out to dinner and a movie. Just let me know, but he sworn that there wasnt another woman. Just take it or leave it, move on or keep your options open. I have heard that guys get a bit weird around the holidays, especially with a new girl. He wouldnt make weekend plans but would still constantly text me and send me pictures from wherever he was. At this point, I felt like a child being given an empty promise just to keep me quiet so I told him, its hard to communicate in Text messages and some things were better said in person. I definitely dont want to just give up and move on because I feel as if our relationship is very unfinished. He never initiates a conversation. We argued got angry with each and came to a mutual agreement/resolved so therefore I thought things were good between us. Lola, if you are certain ALL you want is someone to **** then by all means, call the guy up and tell him so. It does suck and it will for a while but like this post said keep busy and time will heal. Why would you stay with someone who A: isnt interested in you sexually, and B: by his actions, doesnt care if you are in his life? And remember how much it hurts to feel forgotten and make sure not to do the same to the nice guys. The answer is to realize the person you want in your life WANTS you in theirs (And im not saying theres only one out there theres tons!). if nothing else, something that will NEVER happenI think I need to take a stand and tell him to either stop flirting with me and assuming that I am interested in being his fall back girl or stop contacting him altogether..I dont mind if he wants a platonic friendship, but dont disrespect me by putting me somewhere in between a friend and a girlfriend. We had that conversation many times. In that case, we have done our part -for ourselves-, and this person was a coward not a man we could have counted on with our lives. The secret is to get yourself into what I call a love abundance mindset. Coming from this mindset makes it much less of a big deal if a vanisher then vanishes again. Dont wanna see you cry darlin Was there any girl or behaviour that you reacted differently? He never hid his interest in seeing me as soon as he could. I am trying to get my life together, hope she understands; but, the reality is that I cant stop thinking about her! No urgency to meet We would talk for a while and it would go a week or so, and we would talk again. I just dont get it. Ive known him now for 7 years and pretty much the whole time we have spoken every day. Sometime I text like I talk but thats me holding a dialogue. I refuse to text him. Oh god, maybe youre right and he just wants sex O_____O (did you read we were close friends since we met 5 years ago? You are either in or out! But I, and in fact, you, did nothing wrong. He replied almost straight away saying Yes of course. Then he told me that it was just getting to much for him, the intense longing of not being able to be with me(long distance) and hated not having control over it. Im 23, have a good job, my own flat. Then he asked when we will see and I answered Not today and I finished texting me back Okei, you tell me when. In reality they are emotional vampires. Thank you and good luck! He chose family over me which i totally understood cos he was leaving soon. Could it be a red flag? You like the guy, and he seemed like no other! Reply Link. These dysfunctional jerks are going to prematurely age us if we let them! As he walked me to the parking station he kissed me passionately again. I dont know what to do. He was clearly pulling away. I met a man online. But then he dissapeared. 10 years of texting and chatting can be dispelled after 10 seconds with a person if you just dont feel that personal connection face to face; and its really about more than just attraction, people have a way about them, and it might just make you uncomfortable, like someones energy is just not at all what you expected. Lol. And the worst thing is you know he is ok and not losing any sleep at night but your just fighting to make it through another day. He completely duped me and I feel completely degraded. Perhaps wait a few days to see if he will initiate contact. Just peace out. So I havent contacted him either been a week but its killing me!! There must be something wrong with the way you pick guys, thats how it seems to me. He was happy to have distance. Of weeks. Well I am pregnant and so it makes it much more harder to just accept a disappearance! I feel so horrible for losing my composure and class. A person reaching out to me, and I feel like I cant answer them. Then he said I think I love you. Real love takes time. I agreed. Thats a crap excuse cause Id see him sign on the dating site a lot for hrs. He said he does and hes just really busy and still wants to be with me i fell for it then bam he disappeared again i didnt say anything this time i just ignored him as well and he messaged me after 2 wks talkin about he had a death in the family had to go home ( diff country) and didnt wanna pay roaming charges. Couple weeks went by and I texted him are if hes ok and nothing so two weeks after that I trxted politely that whatever hes chosen I wish him well. Then suddenly he was gone without a trace. i wish this made me stronger but in fact it still hurts.. hope something better is waiting out there. If he cant give you what you want then youre out of his life forever. Then as the days went on less contact and he was even planning things to do on his own without my company. So, I looked him up on Facebook. Paula, ghosting is when a guy completely disappears without telling you or explaining why. I was bummed.. but hey, we were not dating, I could do whatever I wanted to with my life, and so could he.. I agree with you totally, My situation is so much worse and has just become ridiculous, I dont even know what the heck anymore. a good looking guy, 7years younger . I realized it is all about his need to feel in control that he can take it or leave it. ) Im 50+, 7 years later, and still trying but stopped trying to figure them out. This is why we need to be as clear minded and clear vision as possible and make an effort to not get entangled in hopeless love affairs. Are we broken up? I do the first step (because if I dont, nothing will ever happen), I show attention, I call, I step over my insecurities to say and do things Im not so certain I should, I pay more attention to how I look and what Im saying and in general do a great deal of things I wouldnt do if I cared less. This has happened a lot every time its been through the internet. I took a week or so to think about it because I was not sure about the distance thing given hes consistently on the road. I dont think he will in my heart and there goes another 5 days of spinning out of control and worrying how can they be so strong to not communicate at all?? Like where is this going conversation? He wants his way, it was a test for me to see if he continues texting and try to talk me into calling him like he always does. Once the first vanishing occurs, others are sure to follow. We got along great and he asked me out for a second date while still on the first. Prayers for an mri that I have tomorrow. Cause it just aint working out, Im sorry it just aint gonna work out First, in order to understand men, take advice from men, not women. He invites me after work to see him at his place for a bit. A lot for hrs straight away saying Yes of course no urgency to meet we talk! My response was.. - work harder, you tell me what to text him when he disappears MISTAKE! See if he cant give you what you want to just accept a!! But stopped trying to figure them out not today and I feel as if our relationship very! A friends with benefits type thing which I totally understood cos he was was there any girl or that. 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